Daughters of Cambodia, Phnom Penh

When I was 8 year old, my primary school best friend moved from sleepy Ickleton to bustling Singapore. I remember being so devastated that she'd be leaving - who would I walk around the football pitch and chat with at break time now? - and really not understanding where she was going or why. Mum got out the big atlas to show me where Singapore was, and later Phnom Penh when she moved again to Cambodia, but I still didn't understand the reason why I was walking around the pitch by myself.

12 years and the glorious Internet later, I saw a Facebook post by my friend which I didn't really get. She was wishing her Mum a happy Mother's Day, saying she was sad to not be with her but she understood that sharing her Mum with all the daughters of Cambodia was so important, and she was so proud of the work her Mum was doing. It was dissertation season so my mind skipped over the bits I didn't understand (story of 2/3 years of my degree) and I kept scrolling down my news feed, knocking back my standard cup of tea and handful of chocolate raisins. Bag of chocolate raisins. Fine yes it was a pint of milk and two bags of chocolate raisins they're one of your five a day can we move on now please and thanking you. 

Sex trafficking - Eastern Europe and South East Asia. That association has been in the back of my mind for a fair while. The media feeds us statistics, we feel bad that these things happen, and then it's back to the priority of making colour coded sticky notes for my exam revision because visual learning is a thing and I'm definitely not just procrastinating and making things look nicer. One article I do remember clearly, though, was a study using a computer generated image of a very young girl to lure people looking at her images and talking to her into actually talking to a team of police agents working on the huge operation. They modelled the girl to have very juvenile features based on those of young Cambodian girls, because Cambodians are apparently one of the most sought after people in the trade. The article went on about how successful the sting had been, but something clunked in the back of my mind. She was so little.

1 in 40

That's how many girls in Cambodia are involved in the illegal sex trade and trafficking. Based on my secondary school, that'd be a girl in every other form group. 

Daughters of Cambodia uses the image of an open bird cage to symbolise being released from a state of looking out into the world but being trapped within bars. The sex trade is so often seen as a necessary evil: a poor family has too many mouths to feed, so the youngest girl will be sold into the sex trade so she and the rest of the family can survive. The government has a policy of Raid And Rescue, whereby known sex trade premises will be raided and all the girls taken to a halfway house for safety, but with no income and no home the vast majority of these girls go back to the trade to support themselves. Some girls become pregnant and have to support their children too, fuelling a vicious cycle from which there seems to be no escape. Others choose to stay in the sex trade because it is reliable, steady income, and they have no other skills which would provide the same. I fully support sex workers, but I actively oppose forced sex work. 

I hadn't seen Ruth in 13 years when I turned up at her shop doorstep. After a couple of seconds everything clicked, and she was so shocked to see me right there in Cambodia and in her place! After a giggly realisation and hugs, we went up to the cafe to catch up on life, the universe, and everything. 

Daughters of Cambodia is a voluntary programme - girls approach the organisation of their own volition, asking to leave the trade and enrol in one of the schemes Daughters provides: becoming a chef in the kitchens of the cafes, working as front of house at the cafes and the White Linen Hotel, sewing and craftwork to create the beautiful products sold in the shop, and learning the skills of the hospitality trade. These programmes offer the girls income, homes, safety and security as they start a new life, learning to support themselves and their families out of the sex trade. In 10 years Ruth has battled her way forwards against a huge tide of resistance from those who didn't want to know and didn't want other people to know, creating a safe haven for almost 180 girls to date. That's nearly 180 girls who will be supported for years and years to come through the programme, working at the cafes, shops, and craft centres and then going on to branch out independently. This isn't flash-in-the-pan work, this is steely determination and hard graft to build a better future.

The beautiful Daughters base has just moved to a gorgeous location, right on the Waterfront, and the cafe above has a super balcony which is perfect for people watching the bustling street below. I can't recommend both enough! The shop is full of gorgeous handmade bags, toys, clothes, and so much more, all priced at an absolute steal. The cafe is my favourite place to eat in Phnom Pehn, with the best smoothies I had in Cambodia full stop. Ruth herself is one of my favourite people, too. Her smile will warm you from the moment you catch it, and her impressively calm personality is matched with a feisty determination to fight her corner and make a difference. A cafe might not end the sex industry altogether but it ends it for some girls, and for those individuals that's a whole new life. Ruth has been able to change nearly 180 lives, moulding them into women who can believe in trust, merit, and investment. She's a tiny yet formidable lady, and one of the most wholesome and impressive people I've ever known. A true soul nourisher. 

 

Cambodia is full of NGO projects, all aiming to provide skills and income for vulnerable people who otherwise might be homeless, working in drug or sex trades, and generally providing safe places for at risk people to come and seek help. With projects ranging from Daughters' (and now Sons, too) cafe, shop, and hotel in Phnom Pehn to help ex-sex workers to $1 Tapas in Siem Reap and Sandan Restaurant in Sihanoukville to help ex-homeless and vulnerable people, it's very easy to get involved and support a good cause. And if you're lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Ruth as she runs between her stations, let her know what you think! Too often good people go unacknowledged because we don't translate the enthusiastic mental nod into a verbal appreciation.

The work Ruth does is so inspiring - I'm so proud to be connected to her and her wonderful family, and I'm so pleased that I could see her again. I'd walk around the football pitch by myself forever if it meant more people could be like Ruth and could do what she does.

Final words: banoffee smoothie. Just do it.