It's like going to a sweetie shop on your birthday as a young child and being told you may have whatever you fancy - a weird combination of ballsy confidence whilst also being almost intimidated by the freedom. There is so much to do and to see but where to start?!
I also needed an expectation adjustment. In the build up to my travels almost everyone said "Ah you'll make so many awesome friends in the hostels!!!". Now to most people that's NBD but to me it set up a hopeful expectation which was completely unrealistic, and that I needed to get a sense check on PDQ. The first 2 days I didn't click with anyone in particular, I didn't find my soulmate travellers, and I didn't find people to carve out a whole trip with. But why would I? I've been in 2 hostels over 4 days and with that turnover rate what you're looking for, and invariably find, is interesting people. And that's what's important! I assumed that "meeting people" meant buddying up and so put too much pressure on that happening, and consequently felt lonely and rubbishy because I didn't get that experience straight out of the gate. When it finally clicked that "meeting people" was simply just that that, a huge weight was lifted off (I appreciate this is different for other people and other types of travelling, but I'm going from my experiences hostel hopping). Everyone is going in their own direction, the fact that we cross over at all is awesome and that's what it should be! Some people are cool and some are crazy but it's the confidence in each other to just talk, hang out, and share experiences in one way or another which is really cool. It's ok to turn things down because you're on your own plan, but also if you're invited and it works then boom, extra fun! It sounds so simple but, for me, that's a thing that's only occurred and only resolved in travelling. Tonight I met a backpacker at Wat Arun as we performed the awkward dance of solo travel photos, we got chatting and then had a beer together on the pier to watch the sunset behind the temple together. We will probably never cross paths again, but it was lovely to have the company and conversation.
For me, it's been a series of challenges that have hit faster than the Golden Ball stage of Takeshi's Castle, and I'm not an Imperial Guard.
Travelling solo for me is a tricky balance between independence vs loneliness. Hostels are great for meeting people, but that's a tricky step to take for me at least. I'm not a person to bust into a group of people and just have to open with "Hello!" followed by the travel equivalent of Fresher's Week pleaseconversewithmequiz:
- Where are you from? Swap with fun fact which is invariably "Oh cool! I went to/really want to go to [their country]!"
- What's your name? Swap and nod awkwardly
- How long have you been in [current location]? Swap, invariably followed by more nodding
I also needed an expectation adjustment. In the build up to my travels almost everyone said "Ah you'll make so many awesome friends in the hostels!!!". Now to most people that's NBD but to me it set up a hopeful expectation which was completely unrealistic, and that I needed to get a sense check on PDQ. The first 2 days I didn't click with anyone in particular, I didn't find my soulmate travellers, and I didn't find people to carve out a whole trip with. But why would I? I've been in 2 hostels over 4 days and with that turnover rate what you're looking for, and invariably find, is interesting people. And that's what's important! I assumed that "meeting people" meant buddying up and so put too much pressure on that happening, and consequently felt lonely and rubbishy because I didn't get that experience straight out of the gate. When it finally clicked that "meeting people" was simply just that that, a huge weight was lifted off (I appreciate this is different for other people and other types of travelling, but I'm going from my experiences hostel hopping). Everyone is going in their own direction, the fact that we cross over at all is awesome and that's what it should be! Some people are cool and some are crazy but it's the confidence in each other to just talk, hang out, and share experiences in one way or another which is really cool. It's ok to turn things down because you're on your own plan, but also if you're invited and it works then boom, extra fun! It sounds so simple but, for me, that's a thing that's only occurred and only resolved in travelling. Tonight I met a backpacker at Wat Arun as we performed the awkward dance of solo travel photos, we got chatting and then had a beer together on the pier to watch the sunset behind the temple together. We will probably never cross paths again, but it was lovely to have the company and conversation.
Itinerary wise, for me, it's a balance on cram vs chill. I've found that because I'm solo, I'm filling all the time I'd normally spend chatting with companions throughout the day, eating together, and chilling together, with other things to do. Now in itself that's absolutely fine! But I've also seen pretty much every corner of Bangkok within 3 days and ran myself into an exhausted heap in the process. I only know what day it is because of my pill, and time is completely out of the window! No bad thing, but certainly alien compared to my home life. I've also found that not having people to talk to directly about any niggles such as budgeting troubles etc means everything builds up into an explosion of stress which has been blown completely out of proportion in my head. It's tricky for me to step back because I don't want to be wasting opportunities for the sake of a tenner or sleep but, as the wise words from home kicked me up my butt, I'm here to experience Bangkok, not to have a mighty ticklist. Making a plan for the day is great but there's definitely a higher degree of flexibility necessary here - some days it's too hot, some days I'm tired, and some days it's randomly declared a religious holiday so no temple for you Glen CoCo!
Budgeting is also challenging as I want to do everything and everything is so cheap relative to the UK, but it still piles up. Again, balance between taking rare opportunities and making sure you have enough dollar to keep them coming. Had a major panic today that I had already burned through £200 in FOUR DAYS. But, for that, I've had accommodation and food and I've booked my escape from Bangkok (post in progress), and trousers and gifts and and and. For a 6 month trip it's going to be quite a task but I'll learn, and my trousers are an investment......
On a lighter note, I also got the clothing wrong. I'm spending most of my time visiting temples, for which the guide books said no elbows and no knees, so my great plan of sports leggings with sarong on top and a long sleeved shirt was pretty perfect. I'm not one for the maxi skirt in 38 degree heat because ain't nobody got time for thigh chafe. Once I arrived though, it turns out all temples are happy with t shirts so long as there are no shoulders on show and no knees. If you're a violator of these, they all have marvellous collections of sarongs of shame (including lime green smocks provided at Wat Pho for the Reclining Buddha) which are leant free of charge. Bottom line: bring shorts and a t shirt as you need to be cool but also covered from the sun a bit, and buy some fisherman (aka travel/gap yah/hippy/this-one-time-in) trousers at the first opportunity. They will also keep you covered for many occasions back home, from exam season to all you can eat buffets. Not beating myself up about this one though as packing for 5 climates and cultural expectations was always going to be a mare!
So having taken all this, today has been a breath of fresh air. Metaphorically, of course, as both the humidity and exhausts can be cut with a knife. I adventured freely as I find Bangkok feels relatively safe for me - this might be relative to experiences in very rural Africa - but always being alert because fundamentally this is not my home. I bumped into nice people and had a chat, and then came back to my hostel and sat outside with the intention of writing properly for once for this blog. Naturally that didn't happen! Said hello to some people signing in at the hostel, got chatting, and ended up going out for a Thai iced lemon tea and a great evening with some super people. Hardcore, I know, but I have a 6 hour cookery course tomorrow so ain't nobody chopping things tired (I am so pumped for this and the post will be massive, fair warning).
I needed a big attitude change, but I know that and it's part of my experience! Like Hermione and flying, there are some things you can prepare all you like for but still won't have a clue until you do them. "Up!"
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